The Pigeonhole Principle

A lot has been said about the real estate boom in our country. It appears to be a not-so-secret vendetta by a select part of the human population to cover each and every part of open land with concrete structures meant to provide accommodation for the rest of the race. In the process, a fantastic amount of money is made by three major kinds of people, the builders (because they made the thing, duh), the agents (because they put the building on the radar of the buyer, duh) and politicians (duh). The hapless people who work for months, sometimes years, to complete the project remain unaffected by the explosion of the real estate scene. The reason for the afore-mentioned statement continues to elude me but I am certain that the renowned economists of our generation can find an answer only if they have the time or indeed, the desire to let their minds wander in this direction.

I know nothing about real estate and hence it would be a futile exercise for me to ask you to exercise your tired minds on such directionless ventures of my mind. But I would ask you with endearing humility to stay with me and allow me to try and explore an interesting aspect of this, the property version of the big bang. Another species has benefitted radically because of the exponential growth in the population of buildings. I am referring to pigeons.
You might be in the possession of a compact one BHK flat or the proud owner of a sprawling 5 BHK apartment complete with a penthouse, but the chances of a greyish organism lording over your window sill are approximately ninety two percent. I am certain that most parents would be thrilled if their ward achieves this figure in his board examination and it is this fact, if not anything else, that will convince you that pigeons are a part and parcel of our everyday lives.

Pigeons possess this amazing ability to irritate and they do it with a sort of flamboyant nonchalance. If you observe a pigeon closely and simultaneously multi-task your brain to refuse to get irritated, you will realise the tools they have for their ultimate goal of universal irritation. They have this weird tendency to swing their heads forward and backward periodically, only when walking. While they are at this complicated juxtaposition of motion, they make a hooting sound that is remarkably monotonic in addition to being consistently periodic. Most birds flap their wings while flying but they do it in noiseless grace. Pigeons make a racket while taking off as if to remind nature that they do indeed fly with their wings. The sound they produce has uncanny resemblance to the sound you hear when you let out a lot of excreta after a long day of holding back.

Blessed though they are, they still find novel mechanisms to achieve their purpose. They suddenly decide that to fly into your house would be a fabulous adventure. These are trying times. You have to ensure the safety of your appliances, the bird (not because you care for it but because of your appliances) and last but in no way the least, yourself. They almost always know your favourite plant and your favourite flower and take sadistic pleasure in ruining them in front of your very eyes. They might choose to remind you that they can fly, exactly after they have interrupted your peaceful siesta. Yes, they are a talented breed.

What amazes me in complete totality is that the pigeon’s relative is the dove, our symbol of everything pure, peaceful and good. Are we then, being subconsciously racist in elevating the white bird to the upper echelons of human spirit while representing the dark one with everything bad about our bloody race? Nah...I don’t think so. Such is the nature of the human race that we would shoo away whichever bird decided to call our window sill home, it don’t matter if it were black or white. Unfortunately, I guess we would do the exact same thing to unacquainted people as well.